Ahmedabad is changing, finally

AHMEDABAD: Think Ahmedabad is a conservative Gujju town? Lovebirds in dhoklaland seem to pushing the limit on acceptable age difference for marriage. Savita was 22 when she joined an advertising agency in the city and fell in love with her creative director Tushar, 17 years her senior. “When we initially started going out everyone thought that I wasn’t serious and was just using his powerful position in the company to get ahead. But after just six months of courtship, we got married, despite reservations from my parents.�
The traditional belief has been that harmony at home depends on an acceptable age difference between the husband and wife; where only the husband could be older than the wife. But in Ahmedabad, it’s turning out to be a question of personal choice. Thirty-one-year old Kamal Mathur married Neerja seven years his senior. Kamal says “I care a dime about my wife being seven years older than me. Initially, relatives and friends were astounded when I told them that Neerja and I were planning on getting married, but with time they have reconciled with the fact. My mom now says that she couldn’t have found a better daughter-in-law than her!�
While relatives and even complete strangers may raise eyebrows seeing a young woman holding hands with a guy with grey in his hair, the new age couple couldn’t care less. Sejal Parikh married Dheeraj, 13 years older than her. Sejal says, “I don’t understand why people have to be so surprised about the age factor in our marriage. I am extremely happy and that’s what counts. It’s a personal matter and at the risk of sounding rude, may I ask everyone to just leave us alone?�
Most of the times, family and close ones fall into place if the couple is able to make the marriage work. As Tushar says, “Everyone had no choice but to accept the reality. Savita’s parents still feel that she could have got a better (read younger) match, but to be fair to them, they have accepted me wholeheartedly!�
Many feel that age is just a number. So is the age factor all just in the mind? Yes and no. While some experts believe that if there is maturity and understanding between partners, age differences do not matter. Others say that huge age differences can lead to marital discord and misunderstandings and hence should be avoided as far as possible.
Dr. Pratima Bhattacharjee, a psychologist explains, “Like in any other marriage, giving in and adjustments take place in such special cases too. The partners definitely need to work more for such marriages to work. In some of these cases, there is a latent psychological need that is being satisfied. In case of the husband being much older than the wife, problems may arise later on because the woman looks extremely young whereas the man has aged more. But, in the end it depends on how mature the couple is.�
The cupid operates in strange ways and the world may raise objections. But, in the final analysis it’s between the two hearts, sealed eternally, by the inexplicable feeling of love!